Another Day Gone By

The hubby always has Sunday’s off in his current job, we either go out or we don’t. It’s not always a set thing.

It was another day gone by, because we pretty much slept all day. Woke up ’til about 5 pm. We are and finished watching The Ranch — I hate how short the seasons for that show are. I want more!

Even though that’s all we did today, we enjoyed ourselves. It’s always nice to spend time with the spouse, no matter what we’re doing.

Going on nine years together and that’s still what we want to do — spend time with each other.

We may not be rich with money, but we sure are with love.

Maturity – Daily Prompt (Blossom)

Blossom

I hate it when the daily prompts aren’t writing-related…

I’m in one of those moods. I don’t feel like writing, but a challenge is a challenge and I’m supposed to be writing every day.

I at least try combining the daily prompt with my daily post (about my life) when it’s not writing-related.

Let’s see…

What’s the average age one comes to blossom?

My body matured since 12 years old. Mentally, I’m still learning.

I really wish I had been a late-bloomer. They’re usually looking good in their 20s, when that’s when I started loosing it.

It’s crazy how much weight I’ve gained. I’m lucky I found someone into BBW’s.

One thing’s for sure, no matter how you look, be with someone who likes you no matter what.

When did you blossom? Do you still look the same or is the difference significant?

Just One of Those Days

The day is almost over and I’m barely doing my daily post.

It was just one of those days.

Plus, I spent all day binge-watching Thirteen Reasons Why.

I’m wondering if the vibe of the show influenced my emotions.

For those of you who haven’t watched the Netflix original, it’s about a girl who committed suicide. She left a set of tapes explaining why she did it. Ultimately, she blames a few students that bullied her in different ways for it.

I know. Depressing.

I ignored the show for a while after I heard of it. It was all over my Facebook wall. I eventually caved and I really don’t know how to feel about it.

It made me laugh. It made me cry. It made me cringe. It made me feel a lot of things. Overall, it was a good story. Depressing. But good. I just didn’t think a lot of the scenarios were very realistic for high school. But what do I know? I was a nobody when I was in high school back in 2005 to 2008 (I was a junior graduate), so things might be different now.

I’m hoping to find a more feel-good TV show next. It might influence me that way, too. We’ll see.

Model of Excellence – Daily Prompt (Paragon)

Paragon

Is it possible for a diamond to lose quality? You know, besides cutting it.

I used to be my mom’s 100 carat diamond. Her paragon. Her model of excellence. It was always “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” Especially with my middle brother — the troubled one.

It all stopped once I decided to leave home at 17 to stay at a dorm at UTPA. I had to. We lived 30 minutes away from the university and even though she said she’d take and pick me up every day, I knew she’d get fed up, like she did when I wanted a school of choice, which was less than 10 minutes away from home and like she did when I got a job less than 20 minutes away from home.

Even though my middle brother didn’t even finish high school or bother getting a GED, much less go to college, even though he’s been to jail for stealing, even though he’s sold drugs and been on drugs, he’s the one still getting support by her at 20 years old.

I stopped talking to her for four years (2010-2014), because she wouldn’t help me in a time of need. I was 18 years old, it was the last year she was going to use me for her joint income tax with my step-dad. I was still afraid to do it on my own. I don’t know why. This was also the year the number of children you can get money for had been increased from two to three. Their return ended up being close to $3000 over what they had received every other previous year. After receiving it, I asked in the nicest way possible if I could have $200. Her response was, “Give you money? You said you only wanted for us to use you in our income so you could use the paperwork for your financial aid.” Um, yeah, but that didn’t change the fact that they still received a significant amount of extra money for having used me that particular year. I don’t remember what we said next. We both started yelling at each other, until I eventually hung up on her and never called her again. She’s the one who looked for me. I thought I’d give her a second chance. It lasted a year. We haven’t spoken for two years now since then.

This time we stopped talking, because my middle brother stole my Galaxy Note 5. My husband had barely bought it for me less than a week before the incident. We made the mistake of accepting to live with them when my husband and I were going through a rough time and it ended up leading to another breakup. She chose his side. He had already tried stealing from us one time, so we put a deadbolt, but he did this when we were right outside. I had left my phone charging inside and didn’t bother with the deadbolt, because I thought, “We’re right outside,” right? Well, that didn’t stop him. I’d gone back inside to get it and noticed that it was gone right away, because my light wasn’t coming on. He had taken my Bluetooth light bulb, too! It wasn’t until later that I also noticed my tablet and taser flashlight gone, but by then it’d been too late to confront, not that he’d admit it, though. I wasn’t gonna let him get away with it this time, especially with my parents and little brother on his side. I called the cops. Apparently, they can’t do anything without proof or a confession. I called T-Mobile, let them know about the situation, technically they couldn’t do anything either, but I got a nice representative that stayed on the line with me, while helping me navigate an app or website, I can’t remember, that helps track the phone down. It led us to a middle-aged couple’s house. They said they didn’t know anything. We kept looking around, but it kept leading us back there. The second time we passed by there, the phone was outside on their yard, close to the sidewalk. I didn’t care if they threw it out to wash their hands of it or what, I was just happy I had it back and undamaged.

My mother and I have never gotten along. I don’t know why she presented me as her paragon to my brothers. Perhaps that was her way of trying to make them work harder, since I was the one mostly interested in school and reading and writing for pleasure.

It’s a confusing thought, not knowing if there’s love there for a person. Everybody always thinks that you’re supposed to love a relative, just because they’re relatives, but that’s just not true. If you’re not willing to sacrifice for them, if the thought of them dying doesn’t make you cry or at least cringe while your heart skips a beat in fear, then maybe, just maybe, you don’t really love them and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The bad thing is to pretend you do.

Living Paycheck to Paycheck

Today was payday for the hubby. I still haven’t gotten any call backs for my applications.

The money finishes as soon as we get it.

We paid our bills, bought some groceries and saved a little to accumulate with next paycheck for the rent.

We don’t have any children yet for this reason. If both of us have to work to live comfortably, who’d take care of the kids while we work? A baby sitter? I don’t want my kids getting attached to a stranger.

Also, paying a babysitter would take about half of the paycheck of somebody working a minimum wage job, so it just defeats the purpose.

I don’t know how parents in anything under middle class do it, but props if you and your kids are living comfortably. I’d go crazy. I go crazy now when something goes off budget.

Most of the 98% live paycheck to paycheck, but everybody just sees it as normal, just another struggle of life. Oh, well.

First World Problems

I love Netflix. Especially in June — that’s when new seasons are uploaded.

Well, just as my luck would have it, my Roku messed up the resolution on my flat-screen or something. I’m not sure what’s going on, all I know is that I can’t watch the new season of Orange is the New Black right now or The Ranch when it comes out on Friday.

I only got to catch up on The Flash.

My laptop isn’t picking up enough signal off of my Note 5’s hot-spot or maybe it’s T-Mobile. I don’t know, but it takes forever for my laptop to load Netflix. It works much faster on simple sites like this one, Facebook, YouTube, etc.

I’m fine with watching on my Note 5, but OITNB and The Ranch are shows I watch with my husband, so even with the 5.7 inches of what’s supposed to be a big screen for a phone, is too small for two people to share.

We’d probably be watching on my tablet if it hadn’t been stolen, but there’s no sense in dwelling in the past. All I can do is wait till the hubby figures it out or takes out our second TV from the pawn shop.

For now, I’m gonna see what other show I can start on my own.

Rejection From Both Sides

Today, I received an offer from a publishing company that wanted to help me self-publish my book.

I had forgotten that I had sent my manuscript to them. It was two weeks after I sent my queries to agents.

I didn’t realize I’d also be getting offers to self-publish. I mean, if I wanted to self-publish, I would have done it already. So, that means they’ll be rejection from both sides, because I’m not interested in self-publishing.

The difference between self-publishing and traditional publishing is that I’d have to pay for a few expenses myself; when in traditional publishing, they don’t just pay for the expenses, they give you an advance that’s usually around $15,000.

I’m willing to wait for traditional publishing, even though I know it’ll take longer. I know my book is commercial. If I self-publish, then find an agent or publisher who wants to publish traditionally, I’ll lose credibility. My book won’t become as big as I know it can be.

Patience is my only friend right now. I just have to trust that somebody will see what I see and hope that once it reaches that stage, fans won’t let me down.

The Struggles of Poverty

If you’re not part of the 2%, then you more than likely partake in the struggles of poverty.

The thing about the middle class is that the more they make, the more they spend, so they sometimes end up in the same place the people in the lower class go through.

I prefer being ahead of bills, so that any income during that time is considered extra. Well, the bills have caught up and we’ve decided to sell our car to pay ahead.

I’d rather not have to worry about bills than have nice things. Hopefully one day I can have both, but for now I’d rather just not worry.

We’re going to buy a cheaper vehicle and use the rest on bills. We don’t have to worry about hurrying, since the hubby drives a company vehicle and I still haven’t gotten a call back for a job since the Alamo Draft House.

This is the life of the other 98%; having to give up one thing for another or giving late payments or barely surviving, paying bills, buying groceries with cash and having no extra cash for entertainment.

But life isn’t all about money. It’s about enjoying it with your loved ones. That’s what I’m doing and that’s what you should do, too, because we only have one life to live and it would be a shame if it was wasted worrying.

The Finer Things In Life Aren’t Always New

My husband and I tell each other about our day while listening to music after he gets out of work.

Then we eat while watching a movie.

We do this every time.

On his days off, we go eat out and visit the beach or stay in and watch movies and play video games.

Some people would get tired of routines, but they make me feel safe.

Don’t get me wrong. I like change. But if something’s going to change, it better be one routine to another.

I don’t mind sponeity either, as long as it sticks to my likes. I don’t want anything dangerous. The only way I’ll try something dangerous is if I do some research first and it turns out to be a stigma.

It turns out rollercoasters are okay, but there’s still some I just can’t get on yet.

I want to travel the world, visit the main capitals of Europe, like London, Paris, Italy, Madrid, Berlin.

But the finer things in life aren’t always new. Even if I don’t end up traveling the world; living this routine day by day, I’d still be happy, because I’m with the love of my life and the little things actually matter the most.

Early Cancellation

Earlier this week, I saw Netflix’s update list of renewed and cancelled shows on Facebook. Like with every post, I went to the comments section to see what people were saying.

Every single post mentioned the Netflix Original show Sense8. Every single one.

Most threatened to give up their membership if the show wasn’t reinstalled. Others just expressed their feelings about how they shouldn’t have cancelled it, because it’s the only show with so much diversity.

I was curious. I started watching it and I was hooked from episode one.

It really does have immense diversity. The main characters consist of an Indian woman, a German man, an African man, a Korean woman, an Icelander woman, a Mexican man, an American man in Chicago, and an American trans woman in San Francisco.

They all became connected somehow. Sensates. They can feel what the other feels. See what they see. Even from way across the country. But only during certain moments — mostly when they’re in distress.

I’m only halfway through season one, but I can already say that I love the show. I love the storyline and I love the diversity.

I don’t know why it got cancelled when it clearly has so many fans, but I chose to watch it even though I knew there’d be no conclusion.

I’m not looking forward to the last episode. Nobody likes cliffhangers. Especially not those that’ll stay hanging forever.

But a show like this deserves to be watched for what it’s given us, not ignored for depriving us of an ending.