Antidote to an Open Marriage – Feature Article


Originally written some time in 2011.

Feature article:

People worry too much about other people’s lives and they forget about their own. I like living my life to the fullest. I don’t worry about who’s doing what or what people are saying about me, I only care about being happy and living my life.

It all started when I stayed with my cousin during Christmas vacation. It was my first vacation without my parents, I didn’t want to stay at their place so I asked my cousin to let me stay over at his apartment for a month and he agreed. Across from his apartment lived a married couple with kids. One time when I went out to throw the trash, they were out there making a BBQ and drinking with some friends. They asked me if I wanted a beer, I said sure, we all started talking to get to know each other and after that, they kept calling me over to their place to play poker with them and some friends. I went several times. One time they called me very late at night though, around two or three in the morning. They had gone out to a strip club and came back drunk; I did go, because I was awake and two or three wasn’t really that late for me anyway. I had my first threesome with them: a married couple. They seemed to be handling the whole thing well, because they mentioned having done it a lot of times before with strippers and they were still together after many years of marriage, so the idea of me doing the same thing came to me. I wanted to marry a man, because I want to have kids one day but I also like being with women sexually.

I am a liberal. I like practicing an open marriage with my husband. An open marriage is when either or of the spouses or both have sex with people outside the matrimony. In our case, I am bisexual and like having sex with girls. My husband gave me the liberty of having sex with women and I gave him the liberty of joining us every time. Some people may think this isn’t monogamy that’s why they wouldn’t like the sound of “open marriage.” This is monogamy, we practice our regular marriage, too, but whenever we have a chance to get a pretty girl, we take it.

I came out of the closet when I was 15 years old, around the same time a male cousin of mine did too. We both claimed to be bisexual for a while until he said he didn’t enjoy being with women that much, so his new sexual orientation was now gay. I liked being with both, I couldn’t decide. Some people were saying there is no such thing as bisexuality; you have to go either way. I contradict that very much. I am bisexual; therefore, there is such a thing.

I was getting hurt too much by guys, so the other alternative was to bat for the other team. Plus, women’s figures had always attracted me. It’s incredible how we can grow breasts and men can’t, unless they have a lot of blubber underneath to go with them. My preference has always been petite girls, maybe because of how big and masculine I look; it’s the broad shoulders. I dress feminine, but I act sort of mannish most of the time. Of course, I was always the man in the relationships with girls, because of my mannish character. I was a sweetheart to them; I was being the way I’d hoped guys would be with me.

I liked those relationships, there was a lot of respect and communication; but I started thinking, I want to have a family, I want to get married, do I really want to stay with a girl? I soon realized that my relationships with women were just flings: I was being a sweetheart to them, I would buy them what they wanted, and I was usually the one receiving head. I was just having fun with them; I needed time away from men for a while, so I took refuge in girls who had experienced the same anguish as me. I’m sure they didn’t complain.

When I told my husband that I was bisexual his reaction was, “Oh, I’ve had a girlfriend who was bisexual before.” He obviously didn’t seem to mind. Surprisingly, some men do. Later on in the relationship, I suggested a threesome and of course he was all for it. We had been invited to a friend’s birthday party around the same time and that’s when we had our first “messing around” with a girl together. It didn’t continue to sex unfortunately, she said something about betraying her boyfriend; who knew she was taken? She didn’t seem to mind accompanying us to our car.

Our first real threesome was when we were legally married, a friend of ours, actually. It happened twice. She had a girlfriend of her own so the fling didn’t go on forever. We tried finding other girls who were into threesomes with married couples, but there doesn’t seem to be many. We even tried making a MySpace account especially for that, getting girls and we did get a few of them who would trade pictures, but never anything more. Some gave us their email account, others their cell phone numbers. We tried seducing the girls in a comfortable manner to make them accept the invitation of coming over, but they all always had excuses. So we’ve only gotten lucky a few times, but we’re hoping they’ll still be more.

We don’t have any kids right now, so we’re enjoying every bit of our marriage while it’s still just us. We might have enough fun during all this time with our open marriage, but if the kids do come along and we still have chances to get pretty, petite girls, we’re taking them. The kids don’t have to find out, we’ll be decent enough to rent a motel room and it’ll be like it never happened for them. In the case of the married couple I was involved with before I was married, their kids were sleeping at 2 a.m. so it was okay for them to bring a girl in. The kids didn’t wake up, so they didn’t find out.

I’m sure there are many of you who may think that an open marriage is a poisoned marriage, so here is the antidote to an open matrimony: trust. The one true remedy for this ordeal. We never talk to anyone else in any kind of flirty or sexual way. We are faithful to each other and only have sex with girls together. It’s not cheating if we both agree to do it. In all of the encounters we’ve had so far, we were intoxicated with something; we just do it for fun and for pleasure. This is spicing up our marriage to us; we know we’re never going to see those girls again, even the “friend” we had. She wasn’t really a friend, just someone we’d hang out with sometimes. We never really saw her again after her girlfriend came back from her trip, unless you count the distance “seeing” since we live in the same apartment complex.

Our marriage is still as alive as it was the first two weeks of our relationship. We rarely argue and if we, do we reconcile five minutes later. True story. We can’t be away from each other for more than five minutes, the time that he’s at work and I’m at school we live in agony, I know I do. I like the relationship we have, we actually have a lot of respect toward each other and we communicate very well, too. I may be mannish, but he’s got a little feminism in him, that’s where the respect and communication comes from. We fit very well for each other, I’m a mannish woman and he’s a feministic man. We have a superb connection; no matter how many girls we may have sex with together, they’re just flings and the only people we want to spend the rest of our lives with is each other.

*Note: This article won a 3rd place TIPA (Texas Intercollegiate Press Association) award for best column in 2011.


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